Friday, December 23, 2016

teenage girl diary entry

- galleycat?- gawker. - slut.- he's been out twice already. - thanks. jack bauman's office. oh, hi, morgan. yeah, i'm sure he did read, i did. i thought it was amazing work. - so glad you could make it. if you've got a minute,let's go through my day.

- you know, i'm sure that hewould love to talk to you, uh, but he's in a meetingright now. - and don't forgetto change my shrink appointment. - got it. - oh, um, i need you to manageanother release for me. - there's nothingscheduled for months. - it's for the e-bookof "waking eyes." we're tying inthe new edition. - i thought that wascoming out next fall.

- a spot opened upon "charlie rose." we're moving it up. - oh. - i thought you'd bethe perfect person for the job. - what? - well, your fatheris milan's agent, right? - yeah, but--- they sent me the arcs. get a list from publicity.let's put our heads together. alice?

all right, look,i know it's not glamorous, but i'm puttingmy trust in you. "waking eyes" is the best selleron our backlist. all right, all right, look, what if--what ifi read that manuscript you've beenhounding me about, hmm? - you will?- yeah, what's the girl's name? - karen malone.- yeah, karen. - malone.- okay.

- it's the best thing thati've read since i've been here. - i said i'd read it. - okay, but we have to hurry because there might besome interest-- - yes, alan mitchell,please. he's busy?ah. well, fuck him. no, i don't wantto leave a message. - so you'll readthe manuscript this week? - yes.

- hey. you're doingthe "waking eyes" release? - did you knowthey were moving it up? - yeah. that's the bookthat made me love books. i totally identifiedwith her. didn't you? - well, these are friendsof my wife. - nice to meet you.

- they've justcome over from some... hey, sport. you having a good time? - sure.- say hi to everyone. - hi. - alice wrote a terrificshort story last week. she's gonna bethe real deal. oh, this is milan daneker. this is my daughter, alice.

- it's a pleasureto meet you. - milan is one of your mother'sundiscovered writers, but he's writtena book, a good book, and i'm goingto make sure it sells. - yes, please.- yes. - you got to meet annette... - all right.- "times book review." lay a littleof that foreign charm on her. - "she dodged the forced laughter

and the vapid conversations." "if she could just"-- - oh, sorry. i-i was just looking around,and, um... - it's okay. - can i? really? so how is it to grow uplike this? - uh...

it's a little lonely. - that's what i thought, yes. yeah. and you'rea writer too, yes? - um... i don't know. - i would liketo read your story. - it's nothing. - why don't youlet me decide?

well, i-i must-- okay. - "if she could just make herself small enough"... "completely unremarkable"... - hi. sorry. - here she is,late as usual. mwah. we were just discussingthis new film with, um... what's his name?

flavor of the month--you know who i mean. - oh, yeah, yeah.- yeah. have you seen it? - yeah, sadie and i went to seeit last weekend, actually. - mm-hmm. and? - we--we kind of enjoyed it. - i thoughtyou were smarter than that. did you know alicewon a scholastic writing award when she was 16?

- really?- we'd like to order now. what'll you have, sport? oh, get the beef cheeks. they're fabulous here. she'll have the beef cheeks.and you? - pasta puttanesca. - oh, i'll havethe puttanesca. you havethe grilled chicken. maya? - she'll havethe grilled cheese.

- no, no,a half order of calamari and some fries for her. yeah.make it a whole order. kids love fried stuff. here's to you, pal. - oh.what are we celebrating? - independent booksellerslove the book. word of mouth is fantastic.- thank you. - congratulations.- thank you very much.

- oh, i lovewatching you eat. - i know, i know.- you must. you invite him to dinnerevery night. - anna. - that looks great. - so here's to me. i discover talented writers,develop them for years, and then you steal themaway from me. - anna, you told me to geta new agent.

- we're getting some great pressin the trades. milan is making headwayon the next one, right? - mm.- right? - yes.- i'm talking to you. - you're drunk. - fuck you. - your command of the englishlanguage is astonishing. - i thinkyou said that already. - cursing was one of the firstwords i knew in english.

- really?who taught you? - the kid next door. - excuse me.i'm going to go freshen up. - delicious, huh?mmm. - delicious.- mmm, mmm. how's yours? - come over here. - hello.- hello. i'm here to see jack bauman.

- oh, yes. go right in.- okay, thank you. - oh, shit. - oh, my god, look at you. hey. - uh, what are youdoing here? - i just finished my first draftof my new book, so i'm here to deliver it. - what, are you kidding?we would've sent someone. - it's better in person,isn't it?

- congratulations. finally,something worth reading. - thank you.- come into my office. - it's been far too long. - hey, where'd you go?- i'm coming. i'm coming. - so is it done?- finally. - great. alice, where's my lunch? - oh, uh,chez louis, 1:00 p.m.

- if i'd knownyou were gonna drop by... - but maybe i could have lunchwith alice. - what?- to celebrate. - i--actually, i can't.i've got-- - you have to eat.- i really need-- - you could toss aroundsome marketing ideas. - i--you know what?um... - she'd love to. - please?

how are you? - good, good. good. so you're organizing the releaseof the new edition, yes? ironic, huh? - it's nice. tell me about your day. you how was yours?

- you know, writing. i'm glad you could meet me. thank you very much. when can i read your story? - it's, like, no big deal. they, um--they just printed it 'cause no onereally submits stuff, and, um... um, they'rekind of desperate.

- come on. this line here is exactlyhow it feels like the first time you see someonethat you maybe love. it's, uh... you're a writer. what about your writing? - i'm mostly not. - that's a shame.

- i read your new bio. it says thatyou're teaching a lot. - yes, i enjoy it. - i'm sure. - you were my firstand best student. - i got to go. - alice, i've missed you. - why don't you just say,"hey, about that little thing "that happened 15 years agothat you never owned up to

"or apologized forlike you should have, you motherfucker"--sorry, tyler. - okay, i should neverhave told you. look, it's not a big deal. - but he hurt you, ali. you don't do publicityfor someone who hurt you. - it's my job. - i thought your jobwas to help find and edit new and wonderful novels.

- tell that to jack.- why don't you? - will you help me? - besides the fact that i thinkit's a terrible idea, what could i do? - you're a successfulweb designer. - alice. - okay, fine. you'rea semi-successful web designer whose best friendthinks she's brilliant. - yeah, who gave upher not-so-stellar career

to be a mommy. - i need to build moreof a web presence for the book. - oh, that's a great idea. - sadie, please,don't make me do this alone. - you're a real shit,you know that? thank you. all right, i need to goand wrangle a radio spot. yay. - we didn't get to talk

about what you want to dofor your birthday. - hide in a closetuntil it's over. - you better havea big closet. - you promised. come here, buddy.give me a hug. i got to go. hugs. - alice, why are you always running off somewhereyou don't want to go? - oh, fuck off.

sorry, tyler. all right.- bye. call me later. - i will. - you want some? - hello? "it was a gracefulpas de deux, "a dance of hate. "he belittles her,two, three. she yells, two, three."

- hello? - it's me. this is the new story. so, uh, i'm not really sureabout the ending. it feels really forced, and to me, the dialogueis really bogus. - so... do you have a pen? - i can't watch.

- is that your homework? - uh, yeah. i have, like,100 pages of american history. - come over here, kiddo. come, let's read together. it's good.- you made notes all over it. - i wouldn't botherif it wasn't good. but it can be better. it's too abstract. it's, um...

so it only becomes real... if you give itconcrete details, concrete details. look, here. if you move that one... here we go. - okay, so who has materialto hand out for next class? - i need one morevolunteer. - i brought in some new pages.

- um, alice? - i had this reallyradical idea for this super weaponthe xorgots are gonna use to destroy planet earth.just wait till you-- - it doesn't haveto be complete. maybe we could giveyou some--some ideas or... - well,if she doesn't have anything-- - i'm sorry. - okay, josh,what are those aliens up to?

- oh, my-- look at that view. it's beautiful. come. so tell meabout your day. school. - school? - uh, it's the same every day--totally boring. - oh, not for me. you know,for me, it's like a movie--

cheerleaders, boysin team jackets, holding hands. - no.- no? - mm-mm. um, peopledon't hold hands anymore. they just hook up. - they hook up?- mm-hmm. - they hook up. - and, uh,no cheerleaders. no, wait.i guess we do have uniforms.

- uniforms?- mm-hmm. - yeah, yeah. - my best friend, ruby,just went goth. - she turned what?- goth. - goth?- mm-hmm. - goth?- uh-huh. well, what-- - you know, like, uh--like, uh, black eyeliner and ripped shirts.- oh, yeah?

- and, uh, her mom wouldfreak out if she knew, so, she, um--she hides her stuffin the hallway every day before she leaves.- uh-huh. - and, uh, um...- yeah? uh...- and, yeah? - you--you want to hearabout this? - oh, yeah, yeah. - um, well, she says her momhas no idea who she is anymore, but maybe she never did.

so thursday's a good dayfor you? - i guess so.- okay. see you next thursday, then. - i'm sorry, guys. i know you're wastingprecious babysitter time. i just want to eatin front of the tv and get sodden and pathetic. - it is your day.we will do whatever you want. - thank you.

together:surprise! - i knew you were gonnamake us bring you home. - thank you. aww.i'm going to kill you. - happy birthday. you're really going to enjoy itonce you get used to the idea. - come on.- come on, help her blow it out. - one, two, three. - ooh, a little bit more.oh, oh. yay. one more, one more.- last one.

- whoo! - what you writing? - my journal. - i want to know you. - i can't. - one page. - okay. my heart is pounding. i have to get up.

a kiss. a real one. - oh, sorry.- no, that's okay. i was just--i was reading. sorry. do you need--- no, no. i-i was just lookingfor a place to hide out. - my friend invited me. i don't even know the girlwho this is for. yeah?- yeah.

- well, happy birthday.- shh. i'm trying to pretendlike i don't have to grow up. - is there anythingi can do to help? - maybe. - looks good. - so what are you reading? oh. i love that character. the female holden caulfield.

- yeah,that's what they say. - not a favorite? - no. - so why are yousitting alone in a bathroomon your birthday reading it? work. - what do you do? - that is notan age-appropriate question. - you're right.i'm sorry.

- want some? - definitely. oh, emmett. what? - you were right.i did have a good time. i'm glad. - hey.- hey. - thanks for inviting me. - wait. you twoknow each other?

- uh, he was rob'sfreshman year roommate, but i actually met him first... freshman mixer. - oh, right. - you're kidding.- no. - okay. college, wow. let me help you up.- thank you. can i help with the cleanup? - no, no, no.

we got've done enough. - you recycle? - uh, i plead the fifth. what about your mom? - she stayed home with us. do you have sponges? - uh, uh... sorry. - yeah, they've been married35 years,

sometimes happily,sometimes not. they're abnormally normal. - wow. you're, like, some kindof almost extinct species. they should breedyou in captivity. - so, aside from not beingenvironmental activists, what's your family like? not much like a family, i guess. - and?

- nuts. - oh, that explains it. thanks. - look,just so we're clear, i don't really do nuts. - i'll keep that in mind. how do you take your coffee? - black. - i'll call you later?

- so, while he was buildinga bionicle, i posted on new yorker books,paris review, galleycat. uh, what else?- how am i gonna thank you? - oh, i don't know.foot massage? not too high, ty. - so alice grew upand became a wife and motherjust like everybody else. isn't that sad? but it would make me sadderif she hadn't.

your face is chapped. when you're near 30,you have to moisturize. trust me. - kissing. - too much kissing. - never say thatto a married person. emmett.- yeah, i guessed. look at you.- what? - i'm so glad.

- it's terrifying.- and exhilarating. - mom?- what is it, baby? - jesus christ.- mom? - alice.- dad. - i forgot i need a jacketfor this thing tonight. here, this was in the middleof the living room. - it's not mine. - well, where the helldid it come from? god, it reeks.

- i think it's milan's. - milan's? - he was herethis afternoon. - did he bring bya new draft? - he, uh--he came to see me. - you? he's been helping mewith my writing. - what?wha-- since when?

- a while. - well... you couldn't havea better mentor. you're a lucky girl. - i expect great thingsof you. - good night. - okay, here. so this lady,she hasn't voted in 20 years. she starts reading our mostoutrageous quotes of the day,

sees her senator waxing poetic about the benefitsof hydrofracking. immediately promisesto volunteer for anyonewho will run against him. - wow.- and this guy--oh, my god. i love the waythey curse in the south. - you do realizeyou're a fanatic, don't you? - yeah, sorry.- mm. - you, uh--you want someof my pakora?

- yes, i want to tryyour pakoras. - i approved your entry,so you can post it anytime. i'm the last one here,so i'm gonna head out. see you tomorrow.- bye. - bye. thank you.- bye. - it's nice to knowsomebody who actually likeswhat they do. i always wanted to be a writerwhen i grew up. - are you?

- grown up? - no, writing. - how come? - i sit there waiting to hearthe characters speak, and instead,i have this voice in my head, saying, "this is shit.this is shit. this is shit." - come on, that voice? everybody hears that voice. it's the same voicethat says,

"i can't believe you just saidthat, you fucking moron." - you think? most people just ignore it. - really?i just... succumb. - yeah? i like a girlwho knows how to succumb. - really? - really.

- shit. - ah. well, good morning. this the new jacket copy?- yeah. - great.- i thought that you-- - can you get harold blakefor me? - did you get a chanceto read karen's manuscript? - uh-huh.not yet. the fisher book's exploding.

- but you will this week. - as soonas i get a free moment. now, milan did an interviewwith the press office. can you see if he said anythingwe haven't heard before? - this week? - i'm sorry?- this week. - oh, yes, of course. i really need to talkto harold. - harold's on line one.

"the only real ruleof good writing is generosity." - rule number one--generosity. you must be willingto share yourself. oh, i brought you a present.- you did? it's a birthday present. i wrote you a poem. - i didn't knowyou write poetry. - i don't,but you inspire me, so... - what do you think?

- uh, it's--it's--it's nice. - "nice"? - i have a--i havea precalc test tomorrow. jesus, i hate this stuff.- alice? - okay.i'm glad you liked the poem. - anything we can use? - nothing that wehaven't heard before. - damn. get me susanat simon & schuster.

- sorry. - so are you ever on time? - no.but, um... i got you these. - oh, wow.alfred marks began working at the white houseat the age of 28. good for alfred. louise van der zwan-- okay, stop.- all right, stop.

- is this what you doevery sunday morning? you just sit hereand envy other people's lives? - no, that is pretty mucha full-time occupation. - you knowit's pointless, right? - yes, i do. you can't write in front of me.- what? - no, i'm serious. if anyone'sgonna write in my apartment, it's going to be me. - but you don't.

- thank youfor pointing that out. - come on, it's notlike there's a finite number of words in the room, and if i use them all, there won't be enoughleft for you. - why does everything you sayhave to make so much sense? it's fucking infuriating. - okay, shut up now. - seeinganyone special, sport?

- not really. - you know,having children is the most satisfying thinglife has to offer. - how's the writing going? - oh, you know... there is a book that i readthat i thought was terrific. - yeah?- yeah, i'm trying to get jack to read it. - um, well, i thought thatmaybe you would have a look.

maybe you'd wantto meet with the writer. - jack hasn't read it? - don't worry about that.i'll get him to read it. i just--i just thoughtyou might want to meet with her. her name's karen malone.she, um--she did "iowa." she has this amazingshort story. - no, no.i'm going to call him up. - no, dad. please don't.that's not what i meant. - well, i can fix it,sport.

- dad, dad,i'll get him to read it. i just wanted your opinion. - dad, i mean it.don't call him. - okay, honey,i won't call him. hey, tiger. are you having fun?huh? - great work. um, alice,can you hang out a minute? look, do you want meto refund your tuition?

- it's pastthe official deadline, but i could ask themto make an exception. - it's notthat i'm not trying. - why don't you sign up againwhen you feel like you're ready? yeah, i know he's doing a lotof press right now, but it would be greatif he could squeeze in the "waking eyes"re-release party. okay, no, i don't haveany confirmations yet, but... i can hold.

- is thisjack bauman's office? - yeah,is he expecting you? - karen malone. - karen, hi. i'm alice.- nice to meet you. it's really niceto meet you too. - so could you tell himi'm here? - hey, karen,come on in. - hi.- jack bauman.

- so nice to meet you.- pleasure to meet you. - alice. hi.- dad? - am i late? see, sport,i told you i'd fix it, huh? can i take you to lunchwhen we're through here? - ben, good to see you.- hey. - hi.- karen. - how are you?- all right. - hi.- hi.

- uh, keith. i'm watching tyler. - oh, okay. - we were at the park all day.he's taking a nap. - um, i'm alice.- yeah, um, hi. - sadie's at, uh,prenatal yoga. um, she'll be back in,like, an hour and a half. - maybe you could just tell herthat i came by. she could call me.- yeah, sure.

you know what? actually, maybei'll just check on tyler, if that's okay.- yeah, sure. come on in. - he's such a great kid.- yeah. i--we read this in my, uh,modern lit class last year. - oh? - i didn't finish it. - well, you can have that copyif you want. - it's kind of dated. - keith?

what the fuck are you doing? - uh, what are youdoing home? - i decided to skipdeep relaxation. is there someone in there? - keith,get out of here. owe me 40. - now.- okay. - what the hellare you doing? - i don't know.

- he's a kid.- i know. - if tyler had woken up,oh, my god, he would've been so confused.- i know. - what about emmett?- i know, i know. - hey, honey.- mama? - yeah, baby? - aunt alice! - aunt alicehas to leave now. - still waitingon that updated guest list.

- i'm working on it. you could have told me that youread it, that you liked it. - that we're publishing it. - you are? - i thought daddywould've spread the word. - well, who are youassigning it to? - i'm editing it myself. - it's notyour kind of book. - eh.

- i found her. i-- - alice, that's your job. you cull the good stuff.i decide if it's good enough. - yeah, but listen,i have some great ideas-- - shh. now, listen, there's noway i'm going to let an inexperienced editor workwith an inexperienced writer. - i've worked herefor two years. - and how many bookshave you edited? - my point exactly.

- i will cc you in my notes. you can come to me withyour thoughts anytime you like. now, listen, milan is expectingyou at the taping tomorrow. the new novelis almost unreadable. make sure he sticksto "waking eyes," okay? you're the best. - so 15 years.- mm-hmm. - you've written seven novelssince "waking eyes," and none has becomethe kind of cultural icon.

- no, unfortunately not. - what do you think makes it so perennially popular? what i think it is, is thateveryone has been a teenager, and... we all know how out of kilterit makes you. - all it-- okay, so are you gonnatell me the secret now? - all right, i thinki'm gonna actually tell you.

come here for a second. no one can hear this,actually. mm. - i have to go. - so go. - it's not important. - so the questioni have to ask... - which i probably have answeredmany times before, so go ahead. - possibly.

how does a man in his 40s perfectly capturethe essence of a teenage girl? this opening paragraphis self-indulgent. 95% of writing is rewriting. you know that. and here, here'sanother dangling preposition. the way you manglethe english language is-- look at this.i'm the immigrant here.

- i was hanging outwith my friend. i forgot. i'm sorry. i do this because i believein your talent. - i know. - come here. i do thisbecause i love you. - i know.- yeah. - i met a boy. - oh, i'm happy.

so glad. i want you to be happy. what can i doto make you happy? we all like a mystery, but there'sno mystery girl in it. it's all fiction, at that time,i did walk around in the city and listen in on subways,coffee shops... - mm-hmm.- streets, you know,

and i still do,now and then, listen in to seeif girls have changed. you know?- hmm. and have they? - some things never change. - special delivery. - what the hellare you doing here? no, no,you need to go. i have somebody coming here.- another time? - no, no.

- why? - look, i just turned 29.- really? - and i guess itmessed with my head. shit. - hey.- hi. - this is keith. - uh, he'ssadie's babysitter. - you her husband?- yeah. - keith was just leaving.

- yeah, um... sorry, man. - i got us some wine. - alice? - i went to sadie's the otherday, and i forgot that. - well, i told himthat he could borrow it. - before or afteryou forgot it? - emmett. - did you...?

fuck. - emmett, can--can we just talk about it? please, it was the daythat i found out about the manuscript. i was really upset. i am never gonnato see this guy again. emmett. listen, let's justtalk about it. emmett. - i will not let you make meas crazy as you are.

- dad?- hey, champ, come. come and meet alana. - you must be alice.- hi. - sit, sit, sit, sit. alana isa fantastic conductor. women are really cominginto their own in that field. - what about maya, dad? - i'm gonna see her.yeah. helene just needs a little timeto cool down.

- oh, dad. - hey, hey. you know how it is,right? - sorry. i just, uh... suddenly startedto just feel-- - alice?- excuse me. - what are you doing here? - i brought food. - you know how precious sleepis to me.

- i need to talk.sadie-- - emmett is my friend,and keith is our neighbors' kid. - look, i'm sorry.- good. - i brought dulce de leche. - you know i love youmore than almost anyone, except tyler and roband my mother...sometimes. but i'm startingnot to like you very much... and i'd neverforgive you for that. i need to not see youfor a while.

what about the book? - screw you, alice. - you know what?i-- can we just--can we just not? - i'm really tired. - no, i don't--i don't think so. - we did things.- "things"? - things. - you hooked up.

- was it wonderful? it should be wonderful.was it? - mm... - please,tell me about it-- come on,how it was like. did he make you come? i want to make you come. i want to be first personto make you come. come here.

look at me. don't close your eyes. open your eyes. that's not the waywe do it. - look at me. it's just something that i do,that i've always done. i see that lookin a guy's eyes, like he wants me. it's the only thingthat makes me feel real.

- i want you. - so? - so it wears off. like... i start wondering,"what's wrong with this guy? why can't he do better?" - that is unbearably sad. - but i probably can. give me a hug.

- i got a hose.- cool. - it's an ambush. - where's my hat?i need to be protected. - here you go. - i can't not be your friendfor one more day. - with friends like you... honey, be careful. - i figure if even youcan't put up with me, i'm gonna have to dosomething about it.

- yeah, you better. - aunt alice,emergency, emergency! you're on fire!- i am? - say "help"! - help. um, name is alice harvey. i am a volunteerfor people for the people, and i'm calling you because... this is suchan important election,

and it's so importantthat you-- hello? - hey, you made it. - of course. - come on in. hi, nice to meet you. - hi.- thanks for coming. everyone, listen up. let's takea little five-minute break.

put your phones down. this is emmett grant, who foundedpeople for the people. he is the guythat got us all here tonight. whoo-hoo! - i didn't get you got yourselves here. everybody take a lookaround the room. i forgot to thank our hostessfor this evening. did you look around?

it's a roomfull of people, right? see, we reached out to you. tonight you're here. you're reaching outto others, and then with any luck, those others aregonna reach out on election dayand fill in the right bubbles, and maybe together, we can changethe political landscape.

if not... we can because it'sthe reaching out that matters. it's the reaching out thatscares the shit out of them, even when our guys don't win. so please, please, just keep reaching out. thank you.- whoo-hoo. - yeah!- awesome. that was a really nice speech.

- i should have known.- listen, i love you both. - you've gotabout five minutes. - how could you use this eventfor personal reasons? - that's not fair. i wanted to help you. i knowhow important this is to you. - keep calling. - emmett-- - no, actionshave consequences, alice. - hey, we got to move on.

- i'm reaching out. - please, please, please, just keep reaching out. - what would you like,sport? - i'd like to startwith the arugula salad, please. - you know, the duckis fabulous here. you should try it.- and i'd like the filet. - why don't you bring herthe duck? milan... you want to tell them?

- it's all your doing. - bullshit. bookseller preorders for"waking eyes," unbelievable. we may have a best selleron our hands. - oh.- you're a genius, pal. - hayworth'smarketing department is. - okay,so we're all geniuses. - please pass the rolls. - sylvio is good,

but not if he doesn't havesomething great to sell. - could you passthe rolls, please? - would you just stopkissing each others' asses and enjoy the moment? - do you have to beso crude? - do you have to beso smug? - i'm happy. not that you'd have any ideawhat that feels like. - mm-hmm.i wonder why.

- actually, i'd liketo stick to the filet. - okay, sport. and duck for meand a side of spinach. so can anybody explain to methe appeal of that--that--that guyin that movie. oh, jeez, you know the one,the one that won best picture. - i can messenger a copyover today. yes, i will hold., one second.

uh, yeah,i'll send it right over. okay, great.thanks. - my agent saidthat you gave him my book. - shit! - i'm not surei did you any favors. - i was actually working onsomething new before all this, and, um, i would loveif you could take a look. - it's my first chapter. - i-i'd love

- great.- thank you. - look into the camera. wave to the camera. - yes, greenstreetis coming. many guests will that be? okay, great. - he's just finishing up a call.he should be right out. - could i take you to lunch? - sorry to make you off the presses.

one for for you. it's got the new dedication. - oh, that's great.- nice, huh? come in, come in. - "still she haunts me phantomwise, "alice moving under skies, never seen by waking eyes." - milan daneker-- he'll be readingfrom his new novel,

"waking eyes." mr. daneker. - thank you, martin.- mm-hmm. yes. "she was slouchingunder the weight "of a too-big book bag, "cracking her gum fiercely "like a line of defense. "but her eyes cried out,

'love me.oh, please, love me.'" "'a little lonely,'she said. "'my mom has no ideawho i am anymore, "but maybe she never did.' "she swayedwith a graceful pas de deux, "the dance of hate. "she was small enough. "she was invisible to themand always would be. "her eyes openedwider and wider

"as she came, brimming with surprise"... "pleasure,and ineffable sadness." alice, what is it? - i have to tellyou something. - fantastic night. - yeah, yeah.- you're a natural. - no, i was terrified.- you were great. wasn't he great?- mm-hmm.

yes,it went very well. - i can't believethat woman from the new york reviewof books was there. - she was interesting. - she was eatingout of your hand. - ben. - alice, um... your mothertold me what you said. - i had to.

- yes, i told himit wasn't true. - it isn't true?- it's what he said. i asked him.he said it's understandable. like i told him, you maybemisinterpreted it somehow. - is that what it is,alice? - i think it'swhat you wish were true. - alice?- stop the car. - it's perfectly naturalto have feelings for someone that you look up to.- i'm flattered.

- i really--i don't knowwhat to think anymore. - he said he may have useddetails from your life... - writers are magpies. - to make the charactermore real. - please stop the car! alice! what are you doing here? are you okay? are you all right?

oh, please, please. it's, um--- is this the new book? - whose life didyou appropriate this time? - no one. uh, well, there's bitsand pieces here and there. you know what i mean?yeah. - it was sucha long time ago. what...- alice. was such a long time ago?

concrete details. you must give me concretedetails to make it real. - i know at that age,little things seem enormous. - your warm... heavy arms around me... the smoky tasteof your tongue in my mouth. - i was helping you. - the feel of your hard-onagainst my thigh. - but nothing really happened.- yes, it did!

- yes, well, you seemedto enjoy it at the time. - you were oneof the few people who ever... actually seemed to see me... to make me feel realand important. - but you are.- you used me. - oh, come on.- you abandoned me. - alice--- you made me feel like i was nothingall over again. - not's...

it's a beautiful character. and i've been livingin her shadow for 15 years. good-bye, milan. - hey, emmett. - what?did jeff screw up again? - no, i just gota google alert. - reaching out scares the shit out of them, even when our guys don't win. so please, please, please, just keep reaching out.

- because i love you. - are we? where's alice? - i haven't seen her yet.sadie? where the hell is alice? - she had something betterto do. - what?- wait. who are you? - her best friend. are you ready to read,mr. daneker?

- i am. - walk this way. - some old lady with a slight beardlet me in. - mrs. rayburn. emmett... i'm sorry that i hurt you. - i might not be readyto take on the world, but i think...

that i can remember... to thinkabout one other person. - i'd like that to be you. - i'll think about it. - 100 was really good. - you're the girlin the book, aren't you? not anymore.

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